Richard's Ramblings - February 2012
Some of you may not believe it, others will never question it, but I have ‘grumpy’ days. If you need to know what they are like you’d probably get graphic descriptions from my daughters and my wife!! Nowadays, as they have grown into young women, my daughters tend to be more direct with me and tell each other just to ignore me – which does nothing to improve my mood! In any event, there are days when, by the end of the day, I think I manage to growl at every other member of my family - at least once… or twice… or more...
When my girls were much younger, I recall times when, as they were getting ready for bed, doing their best to prolong the process, I couldn’t help reflecting how silly and difficult I had been to get along with.
I am sure that anyone reading this can think of times when you also have been at odds with another person or people. It may have been a relatively easily redressed situation like the one between my daughters and me - we sat down and had a good talk about the day and my behaviour throughout it - or it may have been a situation not so easily dealt with. Even with my daughters, a degree of vulnerability on my part became part of helping to redress the unfairness and inappropriateness of how they had been treated.
Whatever the situation, the first thing I would say is: You are normal...We all experience a whole variety of emotions and behaviour over the process of time. However, the major issue that confronted me in relation to my daughters and in other situations in which I find myself at times is not the wrong done, but the response I make; the way in which I attempt to restore the relationship.
In life we are bound to act inappropriately, and though I would not want to make light of wrongs done, the real issue for each of us is the way in which we seek to remedy or correct the situation.
Some measure their value by what they own; some by what they have achieved; some measure their value by where they have been; some by what they have seen.
The true measure of our value is in who we are and in the relationships which give our lives meaning and purpose. All else, I would suggest, has value only in so far as it serves to build wholeness in who we are, and as it works to strengthen our relationships with others.
When you are confronted by difficulties in relationships what priority do you give to satisfactory - from both sides - resolution of the problem?
Rev Richard Johnston